Since my divorce isn't finished yet, and I have a lot of healing that I still need to do before I could even think of starting to date again, this isn't so relevant to me. But I know many people reading this are single parents and may be in the dating scene. Here are some tips from a reader on how to navigate online dating when you're a single parent.
Being a single parent is certainly a full-time job as children require our undivided attention, especially while they are younger. Yet, after a few years of focusing on nothing but your children, you might realize that it’s time to put some focus on yourself as well. This might mean that you want to engage in some fun activities or pick up a hobby or two, but it can also mean that you want to get back out there and start dating again.
You might feel all excited about this decision, but you’ll probably quickly realize that things might not run as smoothly as you might have expected them. As if being a single parent weren’t difficult enough all on its own, now you have to spend your free time socializing in an effort to find that one person who might be right for you. Okay, nobody said that this will be easy, but it’s definitely worth a try, since there’s no need for you to go through life all alone.
There is, however, a much easier option than the one that would require you to go to bars and attend a huge number of social gatherings in order to find someone you like and someone who will be ready to date a single parent without being weird about it. I’m talking about joining one of those dating sites for single parents and trying to find that person online. This is easier in so many ways.
For starters, you don’t need to go to those events and visit bars and clubs while your children are with a nanny if they are not old enough to be left alone. I suspect that no parent would feel rather comfortable doing this. But, you don’t need to wait for them to grow up either in order to get back out there and find yourself a person that’s willing to share his or her life with you. Instead, you can just meet people online from the comfort of your own home and then organize a real date only if you are sure that you and the other person could work well together.
If you are worried that you might be the only single parent out there engaging in online dating, then let me immediately assure you of the wrongfulness of that statement. There are actually quite a lot of websites that basically specialize in bringing single parents closer together and I’m sure that you would love to meet another parent determined to do what’s best for his or her children, while also struggling to meet a like-minded person to spend some time with. While I’m sure that you can do it all alone without any troubles, the truth is that things are definitely much easier when you have someone by your side and all the parents on these sites feel the same way.
Now, when you decide to give these sites a try, you might not be completely sure about how to do it or how to behave upon making your profile. That’s perfectly fine. You have probably been out of the dating pool for quite a while and all you have to do is brush up on your skills and you’ll be ready to get started in no time. In order to help you, I have prepared a few useful tips on how to date online as a single parent. Hopefully, you’ll use those and find a great person for you pretty quickly.
Read these general dating tips for single parents as well: https://www.familyeducation.com/life/dating-after-divorce/9-dating-tips-single-parents
1. Choose A Reputable App Or Site
When you decide to dip your toe into this world, the first thing you’ll need to do is find a website to register on. This is where you should probably be most careful, because this specific decision will influence the rest of your online dating experience. The absolutely worst thing you can do is just choose the first site, or the first app you come across, without doing any background checks whatsoever. Chances are that you’ll end up on an unreliable site this way, which is certainly not a good place to start your search at.
Instead of ending up on unreliable places, your job is to do all the necessary research in order to find a reputable site or app. Lucky for you, there is an easy way to check everything you need to know about specific dating platforms before joining one. All you have to do is find online reviews that are usually extensively written about those platforms and read them. This way, you’ll check the authenticity, as well as determine the reputation, of particular dating websites, which will definitely help you make the right choice and actually create your profile on the perfect platform.
When it comes to venturing into the world of online dating, it's crucial to navigate through the vast array of platforms and find a reputable one. Instead of ending up on unreliable sites or apps, conducting thorough research is key. One effective way to gather the necessary information about specific dating platforms is by seeking out online reviews. These reviews, often extensively written by users, offer valuable insights into the authenticity and reputation of particular websites. Check Online For Love experts list of the most popular dating apps for younger people and read through these reviews to make an informed choice and join the perfect platform.
2. Try Not To Be Shy
If your only move is to create your profile and then leave things be, without spending any time on the platform whatsoever and without connecting to anyone, then you should really learn how to step up your game. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being slightly reserved and unwilling to talk about yourself to just about anybody, but the problem occurs if you are extremely shy and actually not ready to connect even with those persons that you really like. The good thing about online dating is that there’s absolutely no need to be shy or hide any of your likes, dislikes, preferences and similar things.
The Red Playground enumerates the things you can do to prepare yourself in entering the online dating world. Especially for those who have been single for too long, you might need this head start to prepare yourself, and of course, have a fun date and hopefully a meaningful connection.
In fact, the whole point of dating this way is to find someone you can be perfectly honest and open with, because that’s a sure path towards developing a meaningful relationship. So, try to open up just a little bit and don’t be too shy, because you’ll never get to meet someone if your extreme shyness is getting in the way. Additionally, be as honest as you can, because that’s the only way that you’ll attract the right people – people who like who you are and would love to get to know you better. Honesty is always the best approach.
3. Don’t Lie About Your Children
Speaking of honesty, here’s something that you should never, ever do. Let’s say you have two children, but you have heard somewhere that people are far more likely to date parents with only one kid. So, your next move is to lie and write on your profile that you only have one kid. Then, when you actually get to know someone better and you end up liking them, you’ll do the right thing and tell them the truth before things get any more serious. Does this sound like something you should do?
If it does, then I have some really, really bad news for you. That’s a completely wrong thing to do. Once again, the whole point of online dating is to find a person that you can form a relationship with and if that starts off on a lie, I’m pretty sure that you know how it will all end. Plus, your children definitely don’t deserve to be hidden from anyone and if someone doesn’t want to date you because you have more kids, then it’s their decision. There are undoubtedly a lot of people who will want to date you regardless of that.
4. Let People Talk, But Don’t Take Their Words Seriously
There are a lot of tips I could give you about how to date online, such as the ones you can find on this page, but there is one thing that we absolutely need to address. It has made a lot of people give up on their dating endeavors even before they started and it’s time to put a stop to that. I’m referring to the fact that some people might definitely judge you and criticize you not only for resorting to the Internet to find someone, but also for deciding to get back on the market in the first place.
You might get a lot of negative comments from some of your acquaintances, friends, or even family members, but here’s the thing. You certainly shouldn’t let those comments discourage you and prevent you from trying to find someone that might be good both for you and your kids. People will always have something to say and, most of the time, they won’t say nice things. It’s how you deal with those comments that matters, so make sure not to take all of their words too seriously and not to let them discourage you from getting back out there if that’s something you really want.
5. Don’t Involve Your Children Right Away
If you meet another single parent and you decide to get together in real life, here’s a piece of advice. Don’t involve the children right away, because that’s definitely not a good idea for several different reasons. For starters, you probably don’t want your kids to get attached to someone before you get to know them and decide whether they are worth your time or not. Then, there’s also the fact that you probably won’t be able to focus on meeting the person properly if both of you are only focused on talking about the children at all times.