Monday, February 8, 2021

When Do You Know A Foreign Love Should Stay?

As a travel lover, in many travel groups I hear about people who meet their partners while they're traveling around the world. If one does this, at some point this couple will have to make a decision about whether one of the two will be settling down in the other's country. This is a big decision to make (and I say this not lightly at all as someone who moved to my current country because it was where my ex lived). 

How does someone make such a big decision like this, if they should stay where their partner is living? Here's a few hints from a reader that give suggestions as to how one knows that their partner has successfully acclimated to local life. Of course, this is only the first step and one should have many discussions about whether this is a change you both are ready to deal with.

Are you in a relationship where you are in love with someone who is foreign? They might not know the language fully yet, they might not feel at home in the culture and they might not feel as if they are in the right line of work. On the other hand, they might be totally at ease, love the country, love you, everything is happy and brilliant. 

The question is, when do you know when your foreign lover should stay long-term? It's something that has been on the minds of many people as they don’t know when they should ask their lover to take a very difficult decision. They will be staying with you and this can make them feel vulnerable as they might not have a space of their own.

When they like the sports
If you are with a foreign man, this is a big deal! Men love sports and it's a way they can take their mind off work and the usual hum-drum of life. If you can see that your boyfriend or possibly even husband, loves the sports in the country, this is a good sign; for a number of reasons. Firstly, it will endow him into the men’s culture. He won’t be the only one at the cooler, not knowing what the score was of last night’s game or other important sporting events. This is crucial for those of you that live in the UK, because the 6 nations rugby, the premier league and such, are all very important in lad or men’s culture.
They can drive
When your foreign lover can pass their driving test, they are on their way to having total freedom to travel the country. Owning and driving a car of their own, being able to navigate the roads, know the signs and the rules, is a big confidence boost. It's a big part of immersing yourself in the culture and being able to fit in properly. It can also be a good thing for them personally, so they can go do the shopping, go to a leisure area or just get to work by themselves.
Worked for over 5 years
Most of the time, it's a good sign that your partner has lived and worked in the country for 5 years. That’s when you should be making big decisions such as indefinite leave to remain.

But how much does indefinite leave to remain cost? Well, that’s where your immigration solicitor comes in. They will file the paperwork and assess the situation. Most of the time it is a very affordable fee and if your spouse or boyfriend has a good job, hasn’t broken the law, pays taxes etc, then they should be fine.

The signs that you’re ready to permanently live with each other or get married, is hard when you’re in a foreign relationship. But, it's like any other, you have to sum it up in terms of cultural mutuality, feeling familiar, fitting in and knowing where you're going in life.