As a divorced mom, one of the biggest reasons I never want to get married again is kids. When you have kids, or when someone you are dating has kids, they add a lot of extra layers of complexity to the relationship, and in many cases can even be the cause of a relationship ending. Second time around is so much better. I know remarried people that decided to stay in separate houses since that was better for their kids. However, many people feel differently than I do about remarriage and wanting to live with their partner, so if you do, here are some important things to keep in mind to make this as smooth as possible.
Moving in together with your new partner is a huge step in life. It may be more challenging, especially if you have children, since you must introduce them to your partner to make them comfortable around them. They may have difficulty accepting the idea and adapting to the new change that impacts their life.
Involving your children may complicate cohabitation and affect more than just you and your partner. Therefore, there are some factors you should consider before cohabiting with your partner and children. Read further into the article to learn how to make cohabitation successful and your children happy and optimistic about moving in:
Communicate With Your Partner
Before cohabiting with your new partner, the first step is communicating openly and transparently. You and your partner should talk about living as a blended or stepfamily and what to expect from your children. Discuss your and your partner's roles regarding discipline and the parenting styles you can apply to the children.
You and your partner should sign a cohabitation agreement to protect your net worth and property in case of disputes. If you'd like to learn more about this, click here to learn the benefits of a cohabitation agreement and how to acquire one. In addition, early communication and planning make cohabiting and parenting easy and accommodating to your partner and children.
Maintain A Healthy Relationship With Your Ex
Deciding to cohabit with your new partner and your children means you have to co-parent with your ex. This can be messy in the long run due to a lack of trust, insecurity, and suspicion between each other. All these factors may eventually sabotage your relationship with your partner and your children.
Hire a professional lawyer from Musson Law or similar reliable firms to handle your divorce and parenting arrangements to make cohabitation stress-free. That way, you can co-parent your children under judicial laws without complicating your relationship with your partner. All in all, create a positive relationship with your ex to create a safe and comfortable environment for your children.
Prepare Your Children
Cohabiting with your new partner and your children, young or teenagers, may not be easy for them. So, sit them down and discuss why and when you plan to move in with your partner. Next, ask them what they think about this decision and whether they agree.
Make sure to introduce your children to your partner and give them time to get acquainted before discussing the idea of cohabitation. Then, if they're okay with it, you can prepare to move in with your partner, and if not, give them time to get used to the idea. Furthermore, reassure them they'll still be your priority, even if your partner's children are involved, and that your partner won't replace their biological parent.
Check On Your Children
Cohabiting with your partner marks a new chapter for your children, as it may involve changing schools and living in an unfamiliar area. All these changes may negatively affect your child psychologically and emotionally.
Therefore, you must always be available when they need you and constantly check on them. Help them adjust to the new changes and reach out wherever you can. If your child finds it hard to cooperate or accept the idea, seek help from family, friends, or a family therapist to address the emotional and psychological challenges associated with the new move.
Prepare For A Turnaround
Moving in with your new partner isn't going to be a bed of roses for your children. There will be challenges you have to address concerning your children. Expect a range of challenges, such as tantrums, back talk, and rebellion, as children react to the changes in their lives. You should, therefore, prepare yourself for the behavioral changes and plan how to handle them with your partner.
Behavioral changes depend on your child's age, as toddlers cry and throw fits while teenagers act rebellious and back-talk to their parents. Moreover, you should exert some control over your parenting style while understanding your children's feelings. This will help keep your children under control and the household peaceful.
Set Ground Rules For Your Children
Set ground rules that enable everyone in the household to live harmoniously and comfortably. There should also be household routines that accommodate your children and partner equally. For example, you can set up a weekly family meeting to discuss the household issues and challenges one individually faces. You may receive hostility and resentment from your children by setting such rules. However, it'd help to be strict and explain that it's meant to exercise respect and harmony in the house.
Once the rules and routines have been established, make sure they are consistently followed. Failure to do so may cause chaos and misunderstanding in the house, something you're trying to avoid. Even though it'll take time for your children to adjust to the rules, explaining and ensuring they follow them will help them adapt to the set guidelines.
Conclusion
Moving into a new home with your children can be stressful, but things will become more manageable once everyone has settled in. The above guidelines will prepare you for what to expect and how to solve parenting and co-parenting challenges that come with divorce and subsequent cohabiting. Either way, take this new step with positivity and confidence, and you're guaranteed a happy and successful family.
