I have had it up to here with ableism. Ableism is discrimination in favor of able-bodied people. This means when people with disabilities (of any sort) are treated like second class citizens, or worse. I must admit that I used to be completely oblivious to this, but once I came to terms with having mental health issues, I noticed more and more how prevalent this mistreatment of disabled people is, whether overt or covert.
This topic came to the forefront of my mind when I tried applying for a drivers' license in my country. If you remember when I wrote about it before, I had an American drivers' license before I moved abroad, but let it lapse, unfortunately. I never converted my American license to a local one, because it cost more money to do so than I had available at the time, and then I lost the opportunity. When I traveled to the US in 2019, I decided to get my drivers' license again, first taking a few lessons locally to refresh my memory (since it had been years since I drove) and then in the US within my first few days there, I got my drivers' permit and license.
Great, now I came back locally and wanted to convert my license here. Except it wasn't so simple. Ok, first I was just lazy about it, and drove with my American license, even though I wasn't supposed to. I got into a minor car accident and insurance wouldn't cover it because I didn't have a local license, so I had to pay $2500 for the repair. That gave me a push to actually do the right thing and convert my license.
No biggie, right?
I made this dish for the first time quite a few years ago, I think for a potluck Thanksgiving dinner, but I could be wrong. Ever since I made it the first time, I had a decent recollection of certain steps in the recipe, and fond memories of just how good it tasted, but never really made it again. Recently, though, I was craving something like it, but since it had been so long, I searched google for recipes for craisin almond rice, and came up with a bunch of recipes with the name pilaf in them, but all those recipes seemed wrong. You see, I very clearly remembered adding sugar to my onions and craisins, but all the recipes I saw were savory. And so, I put together this dish again, from memory, and it was just as good as I remembered. But I'm just going to stick the word pilaf in the title because that is what people seem to be using and I want this to come up when people search google. But I hope you'll forgive me because this doesn't strictly follow the definition of pilaf (though it does have a decent amount of similarity to the Afghan national dish, kabuli palaw, which is considered a pilaf). This is reminiscent of a dish they generally serve locally at weddings and other catered affairs.
I brought this craisin almond rice dish to a potluck Thanksgiving meal this year and it was devoured. Though it has sugar in it, it isn't very sweet, it is just the right combination of sweet with the rest being savory. The onions and craisins get carmelized, almost candied. I maybe am being a bit extreme, but I would happily say that this is one of my favorite rice dishes ever. My daughters aren't the hugest fans, unfortunately, so I don't know how often I'll be making it. But I definitely suggest giving this one a try. It is worth it.
Unlike most of the recipes I saw when googling to refresh my memory of how I made this dish, this one doesn't use any broth or stock in it, so it is completely vegetarian and vegan. Other than the almonds this is also free from the most common allergens, such as gluten, soy, dairy, eggs, etc... If you are nut free feel free to leave out the almonds, and maybe replace them with pumpkin seeds, if not totally leaving them out.
This is also a great way to use up leftover rice, but if you don't have leftovers, it is worth it to cook up some for this recipe.
Way back when, when I was living an extremely extremely extremely frugal lifestyle and not by choice, I had a series here on this blog called "Needs vs Wants?" I cringe looking back at it and feel bad for myself that I legit was talking about things like whether or not running water, electricity, a fridge, or a cell phone were a need or a want, as well as what the bare minimum furniture and baby supplies someone might need would be. My life has come a long way since then, and I have many things today that past me would have considered a nice extra, but for me are non negotiable.
However, while I don't usually ask myself whether something is a want or a need, especially since that question is a very triggering one for me, when it comes to large expenses, that is something that I consider. Like there are a few things that I'd like to do that would cost me money but since I can make do without them, I'm waiting on them until I have money saved up to pay for them and still have wiggle room in my finances. This is, from least expensive to more, things like a gluten free toaster (to go along with our current gluten one), a new microwave, a replacement blender since mine is finally on its last legs, building a loft room for my son, and hopefully getting a car. Plus a dishwasher, which I will get to in a second. And since things on the higher end of the price range are more important than the cheaper things, I'd rather the money go to a sinking fund for the more expensive thing than spend it on the cheaper but less important thing.
I had this post on my mind already for a long time, but something was holding me back. Originally, it was going to be titled "Help! I Fell Off the Wagon!" because I needed help. What wagon, that is? The budgeting one. Keeping track of my income and expenses via my YNAB app. The wagon that I need to be on to make sure that my life works out properly, that I have money for what I need and don't spend money on things I don't have. And I can't say it's not still an issue. Because right now it's not a total cry for help, because I've gotten back on, but I do need advice on how to not get off it again.
You see, it started about half a year or so back. I was overwhelmed with life, and inputting all my expenses, every time I made them, just felt too overwhelming. So I'd spend. Tried not to spend too much, still stuck to my frugal lifestyle, and I made certain spluges that I perhaps shouldn't have and wouldn't have if I knew the exact state of my finances. I mean I wasn't altogether terrible- I looked at my bank account and knew where it was holding, but that by far is not the whole picture. Because my goal isn't to get down to zero each month and build my way back, because my bank account also includes my emergency fund, plus money I'm holding for different things (such as my tenant's rental deposit), and without actually looking at my budget, I am not able to see how much money I actually have available to be used without needing to dip into my emergency fund.
Every month or so I'd reconcile my money in my budgeting app with what is actually in my accounts, and I would be stressed out! I was spending more than I should! And then every time that would happen I'd beat myself up for this. And feel bad about myself. And stress some more.
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Sink considers special attention when thinking of the design of the bathroom. Each of us comes to it several times a day: to wash our face and hands, to brush our teeth. Of course, everyone wants the washbasin to be beautiful and comfortable, and also to effectively complement the design of the bathroom. What to know before buying a sink? There are several criteria that you should definitely pay attention to. Let's take a closer look.
I have had many posts over the years where I talked about teaching kids how to be financially savvy, but, like with all things, how I've done things has evolved, and in this case, quite tremendously.
I used to include my kids a lot in discussions about finances, thinking that it would help them understand money and be smart spenders. I was told by a family therapist, though, when I started seeing her as part of the divorce process, that people talking to their kids about their family's finances, period, even without exact details and even without sharing monetary stresses with them still is a stress. That thinking about their family's finances puts too big a worry on young heads and can be detrimental to them in both the short and long run. That talking to them about finding the best deal and how I'm saving money is not good for them. This was really frustrating for me to hear, because I thought that I was doing the right thing, teaching them important lessons already from a young age. I've seen what happens to people who grow up in homes where their families had no money sense and they repeat their families' issues and I wanted to make sure that would not happen to my children.
So how exactly am I supposed to teach my kids smart financial habits? With their own money, is what I was told. Teach kids how to budget their own money. Give them ways to earn it. Let them see that if they spend more money now they won't have it later. Let them learn to check prices to see what they can get for their budget. Show them that they can get more for their money when they look for good deals.
And so this has been what I've tried to do for the last three years.
As someone dealing with a bunch of different and still as yet mostly unexplained medical issues, I've been doing a lot different tests and procedures and have more still to do. Each time I have one scheduled I've been googling them to find out details to help me not freak out (or at least not too much), so when I was asked to post this about a procedure called a bronchoscopy I was happy to, if only to have this information out there so that when jittery people like myself need to know this, it will be available. Fortunately, I'm at least not dealing with lung issues (knock on wood) so this isn't relevant to me, but if any of you are, hopefully this will be helpful for you. Just a note, after the break there is medical information and a picture that might make people queasy; you have been warned. If you're squeamish, you might want to scroll on by instead of clicking to expand this.
When my kids were younger, clothing them was easy enough. I started off their babyhood with a huge amount of clothing as hand me downs from my then sister in law, both girls' clothes and boys' clothes. This stash of clothing, more or less, lasted me until my kids were nearly 2. What I didn't have I supplemented with clothes from a very cheap used clothing store. My criteria for clothes were basically that they fit, that they were the right gender's clothes (or neutrals), and that they were seasonally appropriate. I spent very little on clothing for them, mostly just warm undershirts and tights.
By the time my kids were around 2 my kids' clothing stash from my sister in law ran out, and I started getting hand me downs from other friends, but that wasn't enough. I supplemented it quite a lot with clothes from the second hand store, but since the local second hand store had items for 25-50 cents each, it really wasn't a big deal. My boys were still too young to care much about what they wore, so I bought whatever was on sale, as long as I thought it looked presentable and nice.
This continued on until my kids were nearly elementary school aged. Some hand me downs, but very few things from second hand clothes, because boys at that age are really rough on their clothes, and nothing lasted long enough to reach second hand clothing stores. So in addition to the few second hand things we could buy, I also shopped for them at cheap clothing stores, and bought cheap clothes from Nextdirect.com (specifically the boys' uniform pants).
We were all young and stupid once. Ok, some people take longer to grow out of it than others, but generally as more mature adults we can look back at things we did in earlier adulthood and wring our hands and say "why did we do that?" If we are lucky, we can just remember and move on, but often when we make mistakes with money, they continue to haunt us, because they can keep us financially trapped.
It really sucks, because we might feel disgruntled that we have to suffer for things we would never do now, but in some ways, making such mistakes helps us in the future, and teaches us important money lessons that we might not have learned otherwise. But still, once we learn our lesson, can't we move on? Why are we still trapped?
Fortunately, despite how upsetting it is to deal with money traps we got into in the past, there are ways to get out of some of them. Here are five common money traps that people fall into, and how you can get out of them.
