If I had to name my biggest character defects, high on the list would probably be my messiness as well as my constant procrastination. This means that my house ends up usually getting very messy, and I have a hard time getting around to cleaning it up- something always comes up and gets in the way of my tidying up. My husband, on the other hand, needs neatness to be able to function. This has been a considerable source of tension in our marriage- that my husband was working full time, then coming home and cleaning up the mess that I made throughout the day.
For some time, we had discussed bringing in a cleaning lady, but constantly rejected the idea, since cleaning ladies are very expensive round these parts (they nearly make twice as much per hour as my husband does) and we would only be able to afford to take a cleaning lady maximum once a week for an hour or two. That felt pointless, since our house anyhow was getting totally clean once a week- it was maintenance that was the problem- by the end of every day, my place would be a mess, and it would just get messier and messier unless my husband cleaned it.
When I tried to be on top of cleaning it, things always came up. The kids need me, and I can't just ignore them to clean, because then they often end up messing another part of the house while I'm cleaning the first part. And even if my older kids didn't do that, Rose, the baby, often needs to be held.
It wasn't like I was being lazy. I was doing stuff a lot of the day. Taking care of the kids. Homeschooling them. Cooking up delicious, healthy, frugal meals. But cleaning always ended up on the back burner.
So in order for the place to not look like a bomb hit it, my husband would often stay up late at night cleaning, only to wake up just a few short hours later to head out to work. It was really hard on him, and understandably he would resent it, and would stress out.
Then my husband was given the option to increase his hours at work- and since he gets paid hourly, that meant a bigger income.
However, Mike was ambivalent about accepting the offer. While we could use the extra money, Mike wasn't sure he could handle the stress of the longer hours in addition to all the cleaning up he was already doing on a regular basis. He told me that he'd only agree to the longer hours if I could do the cleaning that he was currently doing, because he felt that cleaning up after me and the kids was already a part time job...
However, I wasn't sure what to do. I knew myself. I knew I could try to get the place cleaner, but I have a hard time with consistency. I start projects and then stop them after a short time. Its hard for me to stick to the task, especially on a long term basis, and I knew that that was exactly what Mike needed. I knew that even if I promised that I'd keep the place cleaner on a regular basis, despite my best intentions, it wouldn't happen.
I needed intervention.
And then I thought- what about a mother's helper?